For you if you feel this happening at the surface... 

If you are a woman in your late 30s, or your 40s or 50s, you are probably noticing some changes in yourself. There are many new things happening, right at the surface of your life.

You might feel like the sparkle and mystery of life that you used to tap into is just not as easy to access. You wish you had more time to connect to that part of you.

You might find yourself inexplicably more irritable—snapping at loved ones or colleagues, annoyed by dirty dishes, your partner’s quirks, small changes in plans, things you once took in stride. You are just so annoyed.

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You might feel a sense of increased anxiety—a heightened sense of worry, pressure, and stress even when you can’t quite pinpoint any particular reason (beyond the state of our world, Arg).

You might notice rage or anger that seemingly comes out of nowhere—you’re shouting at traffic or blowing up at small things. Things that always annoyed you now become deal-breakers. You are just so mad! 

You might experience brain fog—like you just can’t get clear, you feel muddled or forget words.

You might feel depressed, like life just doesn’t have the sparkle it once did. You no longer have the same drive to move fast all the time, and some days you might not even want to get out of bed. 

You might be more tired than usual. You feel lethargic, like you just really don’t want to do that intense yoga workout or trudge up that mountain on a hike. And you feel a heavy weight on your shoulders. You wish you didn’t have to always show up for so many people.

You wish you had more time and space for yourself. You are longing to move at your own pace, to do what you want to do, to have some solitude.

You are feeling a little lost, out of nowhere. Like you don’t quite know why you do what you do anymore, or like you don’t know what is next for you.

You are not sleeping well, not necessarily because of anxiety (although it is there) but you just can’t sleep. Or maybe you get woken up with hot flashes or night sweats that jolt you out of sleep and unsettle you.

These are the struggles that we begin to notice in perimenopause, and that stay with us through the early years of menopause.  On average, women experience 7 years of perimenopause (and some experience up to 15 years), and then at least several more years of early-post menopausal stages—in which our bodies and brains are still changing (according to neuroscientist Dr Lisa Mosconi, PhD).

That’s a long time to be feeling uncomfortable and alone in this upheaval.

And it’s also hard because most of us experience this disruption at a time in life when we have many responsibilities in our families and careers. We are doing a lot and we are in charge of a lot.

It’s confusing, and the changes may be subtle at first…you might wonder, What is happening to me? Why am I so irritable/angry/tired/frustrated/anxious lately? Is it just me? Am I crazy?

You’re not imagining it and there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just that during perimenopause and beyond, we become more sensitive—and because the stress and demands of our dominant culture and the times we are living in are getting more intense, we feel it even more.  During this time our hormones, brains, and spirits are changing and we become more sensitive and much less tolerant of “the way things were.”

You might blame your family, your relationships, the state of the world, which of course all affect you, but what you might not understand is that you are in the midst of a huge life change that inevitably shifts who you are, that changes your identity, and that invites you into magical new ways of being.

Just under the surface, big changes are happening. 

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